Slowly

Slowly,

Bit by bit... day by day... I am starting to understand myself a bit more. I am starting to understand why I think somethings the way I do, or why I do or feel the things I do and feel.

For one thing, I realized despite what I use to think, I have ALOT of pride. Like I care alot about face. Yes, I laugh at myself, but deep inside, I know that I have to be better. I have to be great. And I won't let anyone see me at a bad state...

Maybe this is why I don't open up to people. I don't want people to see me in a vulnerable state.. It's so hard. It's so.. vulnerable.

I don't like others to see me fail either. Whether it is me screwing up a test, or looking fat in a bikini, I'd rather just not show up.
But I will get past this.... Hopefully. Some things just gotta change.