为什么感到寂寞
心情很复杂
心烦意乱
找不到平静的心境

很想找回开心平常的心态
却找不到

一只看到我没有的
看到我应该有的
看到别人有的
看到我失去的
为什么不是我
为什么有些事情那么不公平
为什么我不可以

他妈的

期望与失望

还以为昨晚你没有睡觉陪我聊天。。。 代表了什么
还以为。。。 昨晚你的稍微甜言蜜语是有含义的

原来不是；原来没有

拿的起就要可以放得下
可惜已经讲了一个礼拜
我还做不到

今天的测试
如果我不上网
如果一天没有我的消息
你会主动找我吗？
如果喜欢应该会吧。

我等了一天， 忍了一天
我明白了
也许这寒假里
我们的暧昧
我们之间的甜蜜
你那样主动地对我 （是你先开始的。。。）
你的每举每动
也就那样而已
随着假期的结束消失

没有固定的价值
不会继续的温柔

离开后也消失

你可不可以不要讲不清楚前说会令我感到甜蜜的话
别让我一而再再而三的期待和盼望
让我好好的放下心
别带给我失望
因为即使是一点的失望
心里也不舒服
也会心酸。

我在你的心里真的没有那特别的位置了吗？
你那么厉害，可以一离开就把心放下吗？

告诉我啦。让我高兴或让我彻底失望
别让我再想和牵挂
没有意思
浪费时间
无谓的思考


。。。 也不应该。


----------------


记得要以平常的心态去对待事情

恩。


新年快乐。

Is the juice worth the squeeze?

What do you want? How will you get there? You have to have priorities. That is how you know when to give up something and pursue something else.

Even though you know what you want, you have to be ready to work for it. Sometimes it will not be an easy road; sometimes you will want to give up because there are so many signs of discouragement. Sometimes you will think it is not meant to be. But you must know whether it is worth it or not. If you think the juice is worth the squeeze, pursue it. Never let up. be tenacious. Maybe when pursuing your goal you will feel insecure; sad; lonely; bored.... but remind yourself what your final destination is, and what you want to achieve. Is your goal worthy of your work? Does it deserve your perseverance? DO YOU WANT IT?

A marathon runner doesn't run those miles easily; they are out of breath, they fight the pain in their limbs. But watch them; when they cross the finish line, it is exhilarating pride and joy - and that makes them run the miles next time despite the excruciating pain.

Also, you cannot really compare the ease of the ride with other people. Different people want different things as they pursue different paths and goals in life. A person may be satisfied with one major and get an easy ride. If you want four majors to achieve your goals, you will have to be prepared to work four times as hard. You will need to know that the person who wants a single major can have fun and bounce around while you need to go to the library. It is just the way it is. The point is not who gets the easiest ride. What matters is you work for what you want and you get it.

Also, NO ONE will really show you how much hard work and blood and tears they put into achieving their goals. Maybe they stayed up all night but they didn't say it. Sometimes it just sounds easier when they say it... but you never see what goes on behind. So.... just do your own thing. Put in your own work.


OK.

relieved

HEHE.. i am happy to say that my heart is returning to where it is supposed to belong.. maybe because "winter fling" just doesn't pay enough attention to me.. or is too much of a cold fish!!! or maybe he doesn't actually like me. But whatever it is... I am "going home"... a fling is not worth it to jeopardize a caring relationship. esp one where you were so clear that he liked you but suddenly not so clear anymore....

<3

stupidity feels like this

god... i feel so stupid.
to think that, maybe.. there was some sort of spark. some sort of chemistry?

well, flirtation and suggestions don't mean nothing
when the person is too occupied to even talk to you
it doesn't mean squat
if the person doesn't peel his eyes away from whatever damn thing he is doing
and give you attention
especially when you are *upset* (vaguely)

... it really doesn't mean squat.
and again, it proves to me that words are not to be trusted. fun and sensational, they mislead and disappoint.

oh yeah they do. nothing like a cold shower to wake me up.

thanks, but no thanks.

now i just need to try to remember this... because, unfortunately for me, i was expecting something. and somehow i know, deep inside i am still. i just need it smacked between my eyes before i will let go?

but no. i will start. now.

good night.

知道知道知道..

我知道要好好珍惜
但总觉得感觉慢慢远离...

不知所措.

inauguration

Gotta say,


Obama is one hell of a speaker. He gave me chills when he ended that speech.

假期回来总是会有几分 伤感, 几分失落...
依依不舍的感觉

应该会不久后消失吧..
好像那种感觉也慢慢的比前几年强烈了

是不是因为这里太无聊了阿..

不好啊。。。

虽然知道不行，
但还是情不自禁。


这时怎么办？

不想做对不起别人的事情
要调理把冬季心情收起来
假装不介意
假装没意义
把心里的情埋盖掉
点点滴滴的好感收回

也许慢慢的会忘掉那时瞬间的甜蜜
希望能尽快回到原来的起点
不值得
也没结果
为何要牵挂
为何要思念
为何要留念
为何要回想
为何要假设

忘了吧
请从我的心里消失
就当成一片甜蜜回忆
留在那冬季。

untitled

As they so very often say..

"Nothing Gold Can Stay".

Thoughts

once upon a time, so simple and pure
relationships, they were the cure
stay a little while,
bring you a smile
it was really just so simple and pure.

its all different now..
agendas and plots and schemes
come close to the flame u will feel the heat
look at the rose, you will feel the thorns
it's all shields and swords.

why is it so different?
why must people change?
why must they betray?
why must they be fake?

who can you trust?
who cant you trust?
who is your friend?
who is just your acquaintance?

... i wonder...
labels are so loosely and simply used
love is now trash. it is synonymous with lust.
best friend can be the back stabbing bitch
good friends are people who you will never talk to again in 2 years.

is this what the society amounts to now?