In many ways, I feel like I am a living contradiction.
I am ambitious and determined, yet I lack the immediate motivation and long term effort.
I don't know how anyone ever got anywhere being this way. It's the makings of a hobo.
I need to somehow change that; that is, I need to stop buying things online, and start really applying for jobs and feeling that panic/anxiety/desperation again.
I feel like I always need that in order to do well at anything. Otherwise I just bum around.
I need to get somewhere in life.
I need to succeed.
I need to get my monies.
So I better start.
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