WHat?!?!

WHO farts when they are climaxing during sex??

god.

Updates

Recently I have been hanging out with people I didn't use to hang out much with. And somehow, in these people, I find some comfort and some joy. Even though my accent has to be altered to flow with the rhythm of the dialogue with them... it is starting to feel natural to hang out with them. I enjoy it. And it seems like... they are just nice people. People that don't make me feel left out....

Am I speaking too soon? Only time will tell.

Besides that...

I have realized today that short small girls are able to act cute, and somehow they evoke this innate feeling in everyone that makes the big chunky people want to protect and pamper the small girls.
Sadly, I am not one. No sir, I am a tall, 5'7'' girl. Statuesque, if you will. With a guy-ish humor to match. No sir, girls like me don't get protected. But deep down, deep deep down, we really want to feel precious, cute and protected.

-V

Mini Crunches

Love.
4 letter word.
Hard to figure out... yet sometimes your heart just wants to scream it.

Sometimes your heart is bursting... with joy, with a sort of fullness that is rather hard to come by. Sometimes it is because you had a good day; sometimes because you laughed so hard and you are happy; sometimes from contentment with yourself or your life; and sometimes, it is because you spent a wonderful night, or even just meaningful time with someone really special. And that person hugs you and says, almost involuntarily, "God.. I love you so much" and squeezes you tight in his embrace.
You look up at his face, and in that moment your heart feels full. You want to say "I love you."

We may spend our lives wondering if we have loved, or if we have ever been loved. Perhaps all that matters is in that moment, whether it felt right. Maybe everyone defines love differently, but somehow when it is written on paper, it is interpreted differently by everyone. And what matters, what ultimately matters, is what YOU think. It is what you feel, and if you think that is what love is... even without the explosions, fireworks and rocket ships blasting into the sky, then everyone else's explanations be damned.

Graduation 2010

Yesterday,

May 15th 2010


I graduated as a business student from the school of business.

A milestone, paramount...
it hasn't hit me quite yet.

But somehow, in the back of my head, despite all the mental filters and denial...
I know...
I am growing up. Progressing through life's stages.
It makes me think back to when I was just 12, college seemed like a lifetime away. All I wanted to be was 17 so I could relate to the characters in my tween books.
Now... I am embarking on adulthood.
It's weird, almost like watching a movie where they show someone's life.. film time of about 2 minutes.

I sincerely wish for myself that I can reach my dreams. That I can be successful. And that I have the determination and will put in the hard work to match my ambition. That, I really want.

I need to spend a post or few reflecting on my college life. On the people, on the things I have learned, on the things I have realized. And I will. Because the last four years have given me things I have never imagined or experienced. And they have changed me, made me grow, for better or for worse.

I am, however, still waiting for my revelation. It is coming to me, I feel it. Slowly, I am letting myself accept some flaws (at least to see and acknowledge them) and I am starting to change the way I think. I think the revelation is seeping through. I know I will get it before I am out.

I'll be back here.

Class of 2010, welcome to adulthood!

//The Graduate.

Tick Tock.

Tick tock.. tick tock...

Time keeps passing. I age every second.

Graduation is just a heartbeat away. It is in exactly, EXACTLY one month.

I can't believe it. I haven't been able to reconcile the freshman in me, and the to-be graduate. It is just startling to think that I have been through 4 years of college. All that has happened, all that I have gone through to shape what I am now...

It's been a long trip.

yet somehow, it feels very, very short. Tonight, while taking a walk with someone special, I took a breath... and the air was so filled with nostalgia it brought much joy, with much ... reluctance, to my heart. It reminded me of the way the air smelled when I was a freshman, eager and inexperienced, away from my parents, in this small town of Madison. It is the air that reflected the fall in 2006. Warm but a bit chilly... woodsy and grassy. It's... perfect.

Now seasoned with 4 years of salt and pepper, I have my future before me. I am still waiting for that big change, that big revelation that I have been expecting. I am starting to think that the revelation won't come to me, I have to go to it. I have to mature in such a way that I will gain that revelation. I hope I do before... before I depart Madison.

It's hard to think that after I graduate, that is IT for my undergraduate slacking, chilling days. It is out of the pan and into the fire, fire being the real world. I hope it doesn't hurt.
I am close to the end of my education. Somehow it seems like when you are still schooling, you can be immature (to some extent). But now... it's adulthood, and all the responsibilities and obligations that are tacked along with it. I am truly creating my own life... right from the bottom of the corporate ladder.

Graduate school is different, it is really working and doing what you gotta do... so it is different from what life is now, from what life was before.

I think I need to reconcile this before I graduate; there are different stages in life, and they come and go. Sometimes you just need to look at them and realize, it's time to move on.

I wish to spend my last month of (official) schooling happy, carefree and energetic... like I was a freshman.

P.S. time to stop worrying and fussing about people.

<3 Seasoned Senior

Inspiration*

* I just wanted to take a bit of time out of my day... and blog this as a reminder to myself.

*:: You are always so caught up with the tiny things, like oh man, this girl might not be as close as you think. You keep thinking about this, wasting days on end just fussing and worrying due to your insecurities. The truth is, if they don't care about you at this point, you can't force it no more. It's done, it's set. Just be friends, take what comes. As been mentioned in the past, CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

Yesterday I was looking up on facebook this guy I use to like in elementary school. He was someone I really liked and let go of because of my stupidity and mind games. I was like 12 though. That kid was never really good at school, I was always the top student. He was quiet, I was loud and obnoxious. I was quite a popular kid in elementary school.

We went our separate ways... and I never heard from him again.

Well, we are facebook friends, and I am pretty sure since he is living the good life, he won't be crushing on me and thinking of me. In fact, we don't talk. I'd like to, because its been so long, and I want to know how he is doing. But... it won't happen, the gap between us is too great now.

I look him up, and I see him pursuing his dreams and putting himself out there. He has an album out, he plays music, he joined one of the idol shows... he is endorsing a clothing brand. I mean... it was just a slap to my face, as well as an inspiration. A wake up call, if you must.
People are out there, pursuing their dreams and living their lives, doing what they should.
I dream of living a good life, but I am sitting here, fussing over people who aren't worth it. Or who may not be part of my life in the future. WHY??

*I need to see the big picture*.

Seeing his pictures and just what he is doing, it inspired me to get off my ass and pursue what I want. Want a job in marketing? Stop going out and sit down and apply. Do what you have to. I keep thinking about other people, never really doing what I should. This will be my downfall if I refuse to change... So it has to stop. NOW. I need to learn to compartmentalize my feelings and just block out unnecessary things... I am strong enough to live by myself. So let's do it. And I hope I can get a job. And in a few years... someone will be looking at my pictures and feeling the same slap of inspiration.

*think of him, and let it inspire you to go forward.

Thanks, childhood crush =)

** I made it - Lil Wayne

Spring Break

Spring Break was good. Vegas, LA, and a drop by in Chicago.
Met interesting people... saw great sights... had crazy romp. haha. It was much needed though, to get away, get over, get some. hehe.

Last night, someone basically proposed to me. I gotta say, it was the weirdest. Someone loves me so much to never want to live without me in his life...
But I can't return the sentiment. That is sad...

But can you believe it? Someone proposed to me?-ish.

<3